9月14日-終於見到了妳

其實跟瑞秋的會談可以用乏善可陳來形容。

她領著我在這棟辦公室裡爬上又爬下，到處都找不到閒置的房間可以會談，她不好意思地說，她都把爬樓梯當成在做運動。最後，她問我介不介意，不然我們就在外頭談好了。當然，只要她願意談，我高興都來不及了。那是夾藏在建築物之間迷你空地，有種些植物，看得見陽光，還有一些類似分離式冷氣機的機器在一旁嗡嗡作響，還有幾個人也倚靠著一旁的欄杆聊著天。

一坐下來，她便在桌上攤開筆記本，說，今天我就是把我們說了什麼記錄下來，然後我會寄一份給你，也傳達給傑森，這樣懂嗎？我點點頭並回答理解。接著她就問我，你有想講什麼嗎？

我遵照汎薾的指示，以感激和自省開場。感激她願意給我這個機會，見我一面，再接著說知道自己曾經造成大家的麻煩與誤會（舉例，如寫信失禮和進浴室忘記敲門），但是學到了很多事，會謹記在心，以後會盡力避免同樣的事再度發生（如，對主管說話更謹慎，即使浴室門沒關一樣會敲門），希望能再給我一次機會。希望擺低身段和勇於陳述自己，而並非一味指責他人為自己辯護的態度可以給她好印象。

我們談了大約40分鐘就結束了。整個過程裡，感覺瑞秋沒有很想聽我說話，好像在問例行性的問題。談話前，她的筆記裡原本就有一些註記，有時她會看著筆記問我問題，但不過也就是重複那些我已經在9月12日的那封信裡說明過的事。不過，她曾特地問我，知不知道「boring」和「bored」的差異，我說我知道。除了解釋一些事，我也像在那封信裡提到的，努力表現我真的很喜歡這份工作，而且我跟服務使用者都處得很好，還有很多很多的事都期待著能與他們一起走過與分享。不過瑞秋還是蠻冷靜平淡的。最後瑞秋也不知道要講什麼了，就問我還有沒有什麼想講的？一來我真的也不知道要講什麼，二來，又怕多講話讓她感覺壓迫又造成誤解，畢竟，她們不就是判定「我是一個具有攻擊性的人」嗎？I單位、汎薾和我努力的方向就是希望跟她見面後可以澄清對方這樣的疑慮，所以，我只說，我真的會改進，希望能有服務的機會。然後，瑞秋就帶著我離開了。

隔天，她將對話紀錄寄給我，我一看驚覺大事不妙，因為除了一些也許是她沒聽清楚的細節為了謹慎起見我想再做補充，裡頭還有一個致命的錯誤，於是趕緊修正後寄給她。我將信附在下面，讀者看了之後就能明白少了一個「not」不僅形成單純的相反語意，對整件事也會有很大的影響。其實我很納悶，怎麼有可能會犯這種錯誤呢？瑞秋回了信，她說會將我的「修正版」寄給傑森。不過，我如何得知她確實有將這封信寄給傑森，又，在收到我修正之前，她並未先行寄出原有的版本呢？我只知道自己從未收過瑞秋寄給傑森信件的任何副本（即使是到如今的12月）。

以下是瑞秋與我的會談記錄經由我編輯過後的修正版，黑色的部分是瑞秋寫的，藍色而帶底線的字體則是我的部分，以黃色底標示的則是我要特別澄清的部分：

Amy Huang- 14/9/11

Amy started by saying she really appreciated the opportunity to see me and she has reflected a lot over the last few weeks and realised she needs to be careful about expressing herself appropriately. She says she now realises she needs to knock before entering a bathroom if someone else is in there, she said has also learnt that she needs to learn to slow down and observe the impact her actions have on people so she can see if people are confused by what she has said or done. She says she had learnt that she needs to apologise quickly to people if they have been confused or accidentally offended by what she has said or done.

We then discussed the alleged incidents that have occurred over the last few weeks and I asked Amy to give her response to them all:

Bathroom incident

Anny said that Amy came into the bathroom and said “I came here to check you are not using my products” and then pushed her in the stomach.

When asked about this, Amy said she saw the bathroom door was open and as she needed her facial salts, she said “excuse me, I would like to take my facial salts as I fear I will be late for work. I will then go downstairs to wash my face”. She said Anny stepped aside to allow her to reach over to the shelf to get the facial salts.

        It’s facial soap.(it’s a gel in a tube)

I asked her if she had pushed Anny in the stomach and Amy says she does not think so, but she may have accidentally touched part of her body without meaning to.

.

Calling her housemate boring

Anny said that Amy said she was boring

Amy said she did not say Anny was boring. Instead she said “Are you bored?”. When I asked Amy what Anny said in reply, Amy thinks she said “no”.

I asked Amy if she sometimes gets confused between the phrases “You are boring” and “Are you bored?” and she said no, she does not get confused.

Leaving her shift early

Amy’s manager said that Amy left her shift early as the service user was bored and she should not have done this

Amy said she was taught that she had to respect the service users’ needs and so she did so. When she got back, her colleague advised that she should have stayed later, so Amy said she has now learnt from this.

 so it never happens again.

Asking her manager to change the rotas around according to Amy’s needs

Amy’s direct supervisor said that Amy had asked her to change the rotas around because Amy indicated it would be more convenient for her if they were changed. Amy said she is not sure what this relates to, but it may have been when she indicated to her supervisor that she was concerned about doing a late shift due to her fear of travelling home late on her own.

Amy says she would have never said to her supervisor that she wanted her to change the shifts around to suit her, as she respects her supervisor and does what she says.

Not following correct health and safety procedures with a service user

Amy’s supervisor said that Amy was not follow correct procedure when supporting a service user to prepare a meal and when advised of this, Amy was reluctant to take this advice on board and then repeated the same mistake later on.

Amy said that when advised of what she was doing wrong, she was happy to take her manager’s instructions. She said that when she was supporting the service user later on, the tasks were very different (the first tasks involved chopping up vegetables and the second preparing a sandwich) so she did not realise she had to follow the same procedure as she was under the assumption the service could do the task herself.

 And I also saw the service user preparing a sandwich and washing dishes standing beside the sink by herself while other staff was on shift and they kept an eye on her occasionally. Also, I felt the time takes her to wash the dishes was much longer, so I had the impression that she is able to do it while standing and didn’t beware that I should ask her sit down.

Also, when my supervisor informed me the first time, I accepted right away since I respected her and was a little frightened due to being pointed out a mistake by my supervisor. The ‘repeating’ happened on the day and just before being informed of termination and when my supervisor pointed me out that I explained to her and listened to her explanation then I accepted right away.

Amy said to her supervisor that she did not want to do a task that had been allocated to her as she was an unpaid volunteer and not a member of staff. Amy told her supervisor that the task should be re-allocated to a paid member of staff

Amy said she thinks this must relate to her fears about doing the late shift and she said that her flat mates had advised her it was not appropriate for her to do the late shift as she was a volunteer, which is why she questioned whether or not she should be doing it and asked whether a member of staff should being doing it instead.

I didn’t question her, but asked her politely that if it possible that other staff could share the shifts since the rota said I will be on three shifts of the four in August. Then my supervisor explained that she wanted me to be familiar with the task on the shift, so I agreed with her right away and accepted.

Amy said she did mean to be rude to her supervisor, and was just nervous about having to do a late shift and use the bus on her own at night.

I’m sorry and apologise if I let her feel offended due to my lack of English vocabulary and phrases, as I didn’t mean to be rude, and I was too nervous about the new environment at that time. And now I know I should give my self more time to get used to a new environment.

I asked Amy if there was anything else she wished to tell me and she said on one occasion she volunteered more than her 35 hours per week and was happy to do this which shows she is willing to be flexible and listen to her manager. She says she had reflected on the past few weeks and now understands what mistakes she has made and understands now that people have misunderstood her due to cultural barriers and cultural differences.

She said she knows that she needs to slow down and observe how people react to her. She said that at her induction in her home country she was advised that if you are confused you should talk to your manager and ask questions, which is why she has asked lots of questions. She said she also realises the expressions she used in her e-mail to Teresa were inappropriate

She said that when she was questioned about her commitment to volunteering and whether or not she enjoyed it, she now realises that she did not express her joy enough and needs to express her joy about volunteering in the future, otherwise people do not know if you are happy or not.

Amy also wanted to point out that she has formed good relationships with service users and has helped them with additional duties (such a painting their toenails). She is happy and encouraged by the experiences she has had with the service users and one of them even gave her a cuddle which Amy says means that they liked her.

I only supported the service users to polish his/her hand nails, since I was advised by colleague that painting the toenails is not allowed and should be done by profession people due to infection concern.